The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov
It's a fantastic attempt to educate idiot Americans in case of further terrorist attacks.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! 
Here are a few slighly different interpretations.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

 
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. whilst your conjoined twin shouts loudly

 
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

 
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.

As soon as you decide what you want go and get it, but watch out for terrorist arrows on the way

If the building collapses, relax, use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

 
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away.

 
Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

 
Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

 
The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one armless hand.

 
If a door is closed, karate chop it open with three chops from your armless hand.

 
Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you will be poked in the eye by an arrow

 
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

 
If you hear Nelly, the Backstreet Boys or Michael Bolton on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

 
If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop and look at some jelly beans through a telescope.

 
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.

If you lose your contact lenses, fart repeatedly to force your face nearer the floor

If you still cant find your contact lens, cry like a baby

 
Do not drive a car if a power pole is protruding from the bonnet.

A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation.

 
Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

If you see a rainbow and hurricane attempt to strangle yourself.

 Keep people with wild ginger hair outside.

 Houston, Texas is so radioactive that it has learned to talk.

 Whilst trapped, pretend to be a Jedi knight to pass the time,