A lot of the laws regarding universal constants have already been written. Im sure you all know of "Newton's Law of Gravitation"
 
Newton's law of universal gravitation (Sir I. Newton)
Two bodies attract each other with equal and opposite forces; the magnitude of this force is  proportional to the product of the two masses and is also proportional to the inverse square of the distance between the centres of mass of the two bodies.

Well I would like to introduce you to another, this one is new and based on observations by me and several of my friends over many years. I believe that once I publish this we will live in a better and easier to understand world. I mean gravity was always there even before Isaac met the apple tree. This is new and dangerous thinking, the establishment wont like it but damn their hides to Hadies. Here we go:

Bobster's Law of FBH (The Bobster)
All malfunctioning mechanical devices in existence can have their condition improved by an amount directly proportional to the application of a fucking big hammer (FBH) and is also directly proportional to your frustration whilst administering the blow.

I don't understand why this works? It just does. Give it a try, work yourself into a frustrated frenzy trying, without success, to fix a machine and at the point you are just about ready to give up twat it with the biggest hammer you can find and watch it spring suddenly and unexplainably back to perfect working order.